"If there's anything I can do...."

"If there's anything I can do...." -- It's a phrase heard often by those battling cancer and those closest to them. Whether it's innate or a product of our upbringing, we seem to have great capacity for generosity, especially to help those who are facing challenges.

There's much writing about using caution when offering to help -- notably that if you don't offer something specific, you risk creating stress, as few people are comfortable articulating their needs.

Through the years, I've marveled at how some friends jump in immediately, using a variety of tools to mobilize all those wanting to help. There are some terrific websites such as Meal Train and Take them a Meal which make it easy to organize the "village." Deana was fortunate to have many people assist with meal preparation during the nine months leading up to her transplant.

There are many other things you can do to support someone coping with a cancer diagnosis. Here are a few suggestions I've learned during our five year journey:

*Accompany your cancer warrior to treatment.
If you haven't been through it, trust me when I tell you that it is not as romantic as it looks on television. There are many hours of sitting around. Having a friend or loved one there is a visible sign of support and can do much to make the time pass.

If you can't spare a day to sit at the hospital, offering to drive to and from treatment, or offering to take children to activities that coincide with treatment days, can also be a huge help.

*Care packages
Knowing that someone is thinking about you and cares enough to put together some goodies for you means so much. We were blessed to have friends and family far and wide who sent little remembrances or dropped off a bag of treats. I've recently read about some clever ideas such as sending gummy bears for times when there's a desire to bite off someone's head, or a bag full of yellow items, designed to bring sunshine.

If your cancer warrior has children, supporting them is also appreciated. Depending on the child's age, coloring books, crayons, DVDs, and the like can all help to provide activities to pass the time.

*Visible signs of support
This is an area where you'll have to know how comfortable your warrior is with public displays of support. When Deana was diagnosed, we ordered dozens of pins, bracelets, decals and other multiple myeloma awareness paraphernalia. It is quite easy to personalize t-shirts, hats, buttons and stickers that can demonstrate your support. Sharing on social media widens the net and increases the good energy.

*Donate
This continues to be one of the more difficult areas as it seems that so many who offer help want to do something more direct and tangible. This is truly understandable -- and yet, the medical advances that have enabled so many patients to survive cancer were made possible by financial support.

As we enter the holiday season, please consider contributing to the charity of your choice, in honor or in memory of a cancer warrior dear to you.

Our family could never fully express our gratitude to The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation and The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society for their tireless efforts to fund research and provide support to patients and their families. Their commitment to advancing a cure has made it possible for us to have Deana with us.

The photo above was taken yesterday, as Deana's daughter Clare wrapped up her final performance as Belle in her school's production of Beauty and the Beast. (She was outstanding...) I encourage you, any time you are hesitant to contribute, think about this photo and know that your generosity indeed has direct impact.